Email Marketing Tips: Why It’s More Like Tamagotchi Than TikTok

Remember when we thought we were the most responsible person ever — all because we remembered to feed our Tamagotchi? You know, those tiny digital pets that we had to take care of or they’d “die.” Honestly, they might be the reason our generation has an anxiety problem, but on the plus side, they prepared us for future pets — or, in this case, a career in email marketing.

Why?

Because in a world where TikTok reigns supreme, email marketing is not a one-and-done deal. It’s not built for virality. It’s more like caring for a little digital pet — it needs consistent attention to stay healthy, or your engagement, deliverability, open rates (maybe not this because yuck — more on this later) and ROI will start to suffer.

Email = Digital Pet, Not Viral Post

Don’t get me wrong — I’d love for an email to “go viral.” (Honestly, I’m not even sure how that would work.) But if your goal is virality, email campaigns aren’t it.

As nice as it would be to have 100% of a segmented audience follow the CTA every time, that’s not how email works. You wouldn’t feed your Tamagotchi once and expect it to thrive, right? (Okay, 90’s Steve probably did that, but he gets a pass because email, let alone, email marketing wasn’t a thing yet.)

Like your Tamagotchi, email campaigns require small, consistent actions over time. Yes, you can add “TikTok moments” — catchy CTAs, intriguing subject lines, bold graphics — but if you stop there, your results will flatline.

The “Care Routine” of Email Marketing

So what does caring for an email campaign actually look like? While you can’t literally feed it or play games with it, the process isn’t all that different.

• Feed It (Content) → Provide valuable, relevant content regularly.

• Clean Up (List Hygiene) → Remove inactive subscribers to keep your list healthy.

• Playtime (Engagement) → Experiment with A/B tests, personalization, interactive elements, and subject lines.

• Check Its Stats (Analytics) → Track delivers, clicks, opt-outs, and bounces to measure success.

  
  

What Happens When You Neglect It

You might think, “But if I ignore my campaigns, they won’t actually die like my Tamagotchi did.” True, but there’s no reset button you can poke with a paperclip to start over.

Stop and restart too often, and you’ll see declining engagement, unsubscribes, and even spam reports. Your “digital pet” isn’t dead — but it’s sick, and getting it healthy again takes work.

Neglect your audience too long, and they’ll ghost you faster than a middle school crush.

How to Get Your Campaigns Back on Track

Let’s make this practical. Here’s what you can do today:

1. Set a consistent send cadence — once a week, twice a month, whatever makes sense for your audience and goals.

2. Segment your audience so you’re “feeding” them the right content. If I sign up for a higher-ed marketing list, I expect higher-ed content — not tips for the auto industry.

3. Keep testing subject lines, send times, and formats. When you find what works, keep iterating — your audience will evolve over time.

4. Treat your list as an evolving community, not a static billboard. Your subscribers want fresh, valuable content — just like we wanted new games or features for our Tamagotchis.

   
   

About Those Open Rates…

Remember when I said open rates give me the ick?

Here’s why: privacy features like Apple’s Mail Privacy Protection (MPP) and corporate security filters make open data unreliable. They can overcount or undercount, making opens a poor measure of true engagement.

Clicks, conversions, and other actionable metrics are much better indicators of how your “digital pet” is doing.

Your Tamagotchi may be long gone (or at least in the back of your old childhood dresser), but your email list is very much alive. Keep feeding it, keep playing with it, and it’ll grow into one of your strongest marketing channels.

If you made it this far, thanks for reading — it means you care about keeping your list healthy, and your emails alive. If you need help setting up your campaigns, segmenting your audiences, or just figuring out where to start, let’s chat. I’d love to help your email marketing strategy thrive — hopefully better than your Tamagotchi.